So… this is going to be an odd post because, honestly, all I really want to write is “here’s a funny video about a zombie using a bidet.”
But blogging is a strange business, and you have to write posts that the search engines will like.
So I am trying to follow the advice of the Yoast SEO plugin. It tells me that my “Focus keyword” … which I decided was “bidet” … did not appear in the SEO title. So I changed the SEO title to “Bidet,” even though the page is titled “No one told me.” Next.
Next I need a good “meta description,” so I typed the following: “DeadChuck learns the hard way what Europeans already know. But I need some more words here, so I’m going to keep typing until the line is green — done!”
I know full well that European’s don’t drink from bidets, but I needed a meta description. My apologies, Europe.
I’m only currently at 161 words, well below the 300 words that are ideal. So I will keep typing.
Oh, shit, the meta description doesn’t contain the focus keyword, so I’ve updated it to read: “DeadChuck learns the hard way what Europeans already know BIDET. But I need some more words here, so I’m going to keep typing until the line is green …” Problem solved, and bonus point for adding more words: I am now at 230. Almost there!
There’s no images, which they say is a bad thing. But I am going to count the video below, even if they don’t.
I am almost in SEO heaven! But my page title is too short… and the focus keyword does not appear in the URL. Damnit! But at least I am over 300 words!
Which is all I needed to say, look, here’s a funny video about a zombie using a bidet: